OUR FIRST FEW DAYS

We are home and adjusting to being a family of four. Morgan is doing as well as can be expected, but it is not without its challenges. She really loves Baby Kelsey Faith (she always calls her by her whole name), but gets very meloncholy and sad at times, saying the baby doesn't have to live at our house anymore. I still go through periods of guilt and sadness at not having her all to myself anymore and feeling like I am betraying her. But I know (hope) it will get better over time.

Kelsey is having a hard time with feeding / nursing. Of course, I've been battling the no milk / low milk supply issue again this time around, which doesn't help. But this time it seems I have some milk, just a very low supply and not enough to satisfy her. (But I've been taking an herb called Fenugreek that has seemed to help boost my supply a bit, and I was ecstatic today to be able to pump 1.5 ounces in one sitting! That is HUGE for me! I have only gotten that much once so far, though. Most of the time I can only pump out about 3/4 of an ounce.) Kelsey is turning out to be a tad bit impatient to say the least. :) She isn't latching on and gets mad when she does and she doesn't get much immediately. In addition to that, if and when she DOES latch on, she tends to fall asleep right away and we can NOT wake her up enough to finish. We have already made two trips to a lactation specialist to try to stay on top of it this time which has helped some, but what we have had to resort to (and most likely will have to continue with as our "norm" for now) is to pump on my own before feedings (and other random times I can throughout the day) and give that (plus some formula for now to supplement my low supply) in a bottle. That has taken away the "fight" we would have each feeding time that would lead to a 1-2 hour feeding session which was wearing us all out. If my milk continues to increase, then I will most likely just have to pump all the time and feed her my milk all the time in a bottle, and if it doesn't continue to increase, then I will most likely forego the hassles and stress it causes me to pump all the time and just resort to straight formula. Morgan ended up being on only formula and she turned out just fine, so I try not to let it bother me if we have to go that route.

We are also running on about 2 hours of sleep a night. Kelsey seems to have her days and nights mixed up, and will spend many hours at night crying. So, combine the long stretches of crying with long drawn out feedings, and you have two very tired and grumpy parents.

HOWEVER, aside from these issues, we are just so happy and blessed to have another beautiful, healthy daughter. Her pregnancy and birth were so easy compared to Morgan's. (Even my recovery has gone so much better. I actually have felt pretty good most of the time, and right now, a week after surgery, I am feeling GREAT, getting back to being able to do most things on my own.) We know that these early weeks and months can be tiring and exhausting, espeically with a toddler running around, too, demanding attention, but it is only a short blip in her life, and we look forward to watching Kelsey grow up. She is so beautiful, and such a wonderful little blessing in our lives.